My non-bleaching journey

Being dark was not considered pretty everywhere. It was and still is considered dirty in some parts of Africa. Famous Malian singer Oumou Sangare did mention that in her culture fair women are believed to bring luck to their husbands. It wasn’t always admitted openly but comments were passed on, suggesting cleanliness is related to fair skin tone. You could hear grandmothers say for example, that this or that person would had a fairer skin tone if only he/she was taking showers. I guess they  used it to entice their grandchildren into staying clean, but then again it brought to our mind that being fair was something better. It is a paradox: bleaching is frown upon but being fairer is considered beautiful and clean. 

With that mindset I grew up and in my puberty I identified  myself with the stars on TV just like any other teenager. The greatest hits came mostly from the US and when I admired the many black female singers and groups such as destiny’s child, TLC, Whitney Houston, Tony Braxton etc… it became clear to me and my mates that Americans had a better shade of black skin. A “chocolate black” that might be favoured by the weather differences. That skin tone became the epitome of beautiful, not looking fair but having a beautiful chocolate skin. Of course some of my mates very fashionable bought the products they needed to have such a skin. The price did not matter so far as they had the result they needed.  We mistakenly assume that a toned black skin was the beautiful and healthy skin. It was at puberty also that I was called too black for the first time. My skin was too dark and my friends were surprised that I did not want to take care of my skin and look more presentable (remember being black was considered dirty). What even drew more comments was that I have fairer skin tone on certain parts of my body, like my tights. The difference was really noticeable and I wanted to give in to have an even skin tone. It did hurt and I did want to change at the time because I wanted to belong and be seen as pretty, but 2 factors stopped me from changing my skin tone. The first was I was too lazy to stick to a regimen of putting some concoctions on my skin. I already didn’t like lotions so much, it made me sweat so it was a no for me. The second was I didn’t have the necessary means to afford such expensive treatments and I did not like what the other girls did to have the money they used to bleach. By the time I was 18, it was pretty obvious that 70 percent of the girls surrounding me where fairer in complexion. Some naturally and others through bleaching. The reason then was that men preferred fair girls and black girls were invisible, so women caught men attention by looking fairer. By the time I was 20 I have had friends from at least 3 West African countries and most told me the same. I could look even better with a toned skin color, and many offered to mix bathing soaps to help me have a “clean” skin. Some shared their secret of putting bleach in their everyday bathing soap.  By 21 my mind was made up: no more attempts to lighten my skin whether to bring a sparkle to it or make it “clean”. There was more products for black skin care and people started understanding. During my stay in Cote d’Ivoire, I met a very interesting woman that was so happy I was dark that even I was overwhelmed. It is believe that people from northern Togo are really black so when she saw me she was proud of us. Proud I was influenced by others, proud that I had a beautiful dark and it made me raise my head and feel pretty. She made me feel so good, it felt like all my life I was awaiting this compliment. Another time, in Lomé I was invited at a birthday party. To my big surprise there were only 2 dark girls to the party, the birthday girl’s younger sister and I. At first I felt I was in the wrong place, with my nappy hair but a gentleman walked up to me and said he wanted to congratulate me for keeping my skin in this era of bleaching and toning up. I was flustered and once again positively surprised. 

Now why am I telling the story, I am no special person: I am just saying there are many factors that influence the choices of women to bleach and all of us might have been exposed to making such a choice so let’s be wise in our judgment on bleaching girls. If I hadn’t been a lazy, sweaty person. I might have ended up being a "yellow pawpaw". And to all the dark girls out there, you are not alone, We are in it together and now is our time. There are creams for dark skinned girls, and black skinned celebrities such as Alek Wek and Lupita to look up to, let no one tell you that you are not pretty enough with the skin you were created with. You are a perfect imperfection and so be it. there are so many other things that define beauty, don't compromise your skin because once you loose it, it is all gone.